A huge can of Crisco in my bathroom!

Apparently Crisco comes in smaller quantities, though my stupid grocery store only had the gigantic 3 lb can. This is the same stupid grocery store that has been out of frozen spinach for more than a month, so I should have known there wouldn't be much selection. In fact, this grocery store makes me so angry I'd like to kick it in the crotch, (if it had a crotch) and not only for it's lack of spinach and big-ass cans of Crisco..

So what was my attraction to try Crisco as a moisturizer? Well, most moisturizing products meant for the skin can contain stuff like parabens, propylene glycol, and a bunch of other ingredients I'm a little wary of slathering on my body after every shower I'll take for the rest of my life. I was very excited to try Crisco's scent-free simple formula of soybean and cottonseed oils, and of course the price is nice. I had also heard the rumour that Crisco is used as skincare in hospitals. A friend of mine confirmed that this is actually true, and if they use it at the hospital, it must be great (just like the food, ha ha) right?

So, the first time I tried Crisco was straight out of the shower, applying while my skin was still a little damp to 'seal in the moisture' just like we've all been instructed to do by every magazine ever. My first impression: this is pretty greasy stuff. I didn't dare try it on my face. It took some time to massage into my skin, all the while I avoided the temptation to glance at myself in the bathroom mirror, strike a pose, and say 'hey there, Crisco tits'... At first, I thought my skin felt fairly hydrated, but a couple of hours later it felt tight and needed more moisturizing. You know the feeling you get after you've used a dry oil type of product? Subsequent applications left my skin feeling the same, oily but not very moisturized, unfortunately. Most hydrating creams, lotions, etc., are oil and water emulsions. The oil traps the water on the skin. Crisco contains no water. Also, the hydrogenation process makes the oils solid, so at first I had the impression I was putting something thicker on my body. It was time-consuming to have to re-apply it several times throughout the day just so I wouldn't feel so itchy.

While I won't be using this as a moisturizer, I still think it could be useful. Crisco would be great for shining up your legs in the summer, and because it has no fragrance it won't compete with your perfume. You could even mix a little shimmer powder in with it. Mix in a few drops of essential oil, and Crisco's texture makes it perfect for massage. Now there's an idea for their next ad campaign.

My verdict: Crisco is better for pies, not thighs.

UPDATE: My daughter has since broken my pretty soap dispenser in the picture :(

A very Happy Birthday to...

JENNIFER ANISTON!

She turned FORTY this past week. I have always admired her natural, carefree style, sexy hair and beautiful smile. She looks really fantastic.

Non-beauty products as beauty products?

About 7 years ago, on a beauty messageboard, I read about a fantastic facial treatment. It was cheap and easy to find in any grocery store, many already had some in their own fridge. Supposedly it made your skin baby-soft and glowy, cleaned out and shrunk pores, and was the best exfoliant ever. The miracle product was Miracle Whip Salad Dressing. So of course I ran out and bought myself a jar of the stuff, and as per directions (not on the jar, of course) slathered it all over my face, and allowed it to sit for 10 minutes. It started to burn pretty quickly, but I stuck it out until the kitchen timer went off, the smell stinging my eyes. Then, following the directions, I massaged my face until the 'miracle mask' began to roll off in little balls, taking dead skin with it. My face was smooth alright, on fire, but smooth until later on that evening when it grew a little crust to protect itself. The next morning I woke up to a tight, scaly, irritated face. Must have been that high vinegar content, I'm guessing. To make a long story short, my skin was really screwed up for weeks afterward, and others had very similar results. I even think it may have been a hoax. My husband still teases me about it. PLEASE don't try it at home, unless you are making a salad...

I am constantly reading about non-beauty products being used as beauty products. Why have we always been so fascinated by this? I am definitely interested in saving a few bucks, we all are these days. In these tough financial times, maybe we all have a little 'hope in a jar' of something inexpensive and readily available in our own households being an alternative to those expensive products we love so much. So here are three I will be testing out and reviewing just for you:

Crisco Vegetable Shortening (as a moisturizer)

Monistat (as a makeup primer)

Preparation H (since we've all been hearing about it for years as an eye treatment)

Wish me luck! More to come.

A quote...

'Beauty is a gift in youth and an art as we age'

(Susan Kurtz, president of Dr. Hauschka Skin Care and author of Awakening Beauty, the Dr. Hauschka Way)

My Favourite Mascara

Recently, against my better judgment, I 'cheated' on my favourite mascara, with most disappointing results. I shouldn't be surprised, really, I have cheated before and I always come crawling back, ashamed, unfulfilled, my lashes looking like crap. This time though, the other mascara was a real loser. I don't know what I was thinking. It was one of those mascaras (shudder) with a plastic brush. Plastic brushes suck and this trend has got to, and I suspect it will very, very soon. Bring back the brush, I say!

L'Oreal Voluminous Waterproof, I love you forever.

Why do I love this mascara so much? First of all, it makes my wimpy lashes full, and more importantly, long. Second, the formula doesn't flake. Whether I am touching up my own eye makeup or changing looks on a model, I find I can really work around the lashes without worrying about making a mess. Third, not only does the waterproof formula make it long-lasting and keep it from flaking, it also holds a better curl in your eyelashes. Fourth, it is easy to remove in comparison with other waterproof formulas I've tried, and also doesn't irritate my sensitive eyes. Lastly, you can't beat the drugstore price, I have tried so many higher end mascaras (often for free, the perks of being a makeup artist) and so far, nothing compares.

(Just a little side note. In general, I find all mascaras benefit from a little 'drying out' time, meaning, the formula gets easier to work with as the air thickens it a bit. This is definitely true of L'Oreal Voluminous Waterproof, so don't be afraid to pump the wand and get some air into that tube within the first week of use.)